Dreams fascinate me. I know lots of bloggers who have said they're bored hearing about others' dreams, but to me they're an intimate little window into someone's subconscious mind. I love trying to parse them, figure out where they came from and what they mean, and discover what they say about the dreamer.
Last night I dreamed that I was making hard boiled eggs. I put a bunch of them into a pot of boiling water and walked away for a little bit, but when I came back it was obvious something had gone wrong. The shells had broken and the water was filled with bits of cooked egg white, as well as what looked like little blobs of cooked ground chicken. I quickly realized that something was wrong with the eggs; instead of yolks, there were little dead chicks inside each one. I pulled the egg carton out of the fridge and used a flashlight to look through the shells to see if I could find any good eggs to use. But there weren't any. They were all bad.
I guess it doesn't take a PhD to figure that one out.
I think I feel like I deserved that bad dream last night. Have you ever had an opportunity to say the right thing to someone, and for whatever stupid reason you instead choose to say the wrong thing? Something that maybe isn't hurtful in and of itself, but has just a little bit of sting so that it takes the wind out of someone's sails? Something that makes it so that everything is about you, when it should be about them? I did that yesterday and I feel like shit about it. I tried to make it better afterwards but I think it was too late. At least I feel bad enough about it that I probably won't ever do it again.
I got my period yesterday. I go in for my first Lupron depot shot on Wednesday. I'm nervous about how my body is going to react to it. I already get some night sweats at the start of my cycle when my estrogen and progesterone are really low...what's going to happen to me when my whole system gets shut down? This worry found its way into my dreams last night too. I dreamed that I couldn't find a nurse to give me the shot, because they were all scared of what it was going to do to me.
This is all going to be worth it, right?